2012

It has been forever and a day since I've written in this blog. I guess it's time to catch people up (those who actually read this) on my life.

Moved to Nashville and loving every minute of it. Met so many people that have affected me and made amazing friends who will always hold a special place in my heart. Working at Vanderbilt has been an awesome experience. Not only do I get to learn new things and participate in new procedures, I can take the knowledge I have gained from RMH and share my experiences with them. In the near future I plan on going back to school to get a MSN but for now, just living life with people I love in an amazing city.

Dedication, Priorities and Options

It amazes me that God talks to us when we least expect it, and when He does, what He has to say is exactly what we need to hear.

I've gotten better with my quiet times and spending time with Him, but it's not too long till I end up in my old ways of having other priorities and making choices that affect my time with Him. Over the past couple some weeks at church, every message has applied to me somehow and my walk with God. Dedication, priorities and options have made an impact on me and built upon each other every Sunday.

Dedication:
We need to be dedicated to God and his direction for our lives. A big part of this for me is being and continue to be passionate for Him. Passion is not a feeling but a choice. Choosing to follow God and make the right decisions can lead to the right feelings. Personally, over the past couple years, I've lost some of the passion because of wrong choices, but God doesn't look at the past, and I shouldn't either. I need to look to the future and see how amazing God is and how my life has and will change by being dedicated to Him.

Prioritize:
A prioritized life is a productive one. Prioritizing my relationship with God is #1. This effects everything and my relationships with everyone. Prioritizing church. Making an effort every week to go is important and helps build us up. Prioritizing God's way of life. Reading His word, comprehending His word, and actually following what He says helps me make the right choices (passion) to follow God.

Options:
Following God and living His way is a no option life, but today, we make up options for the commands we've been given. It seems the options of everyday life has affected and distracted me from spending time with God. A no option life means loving God with everything we are, taking care of those who are less fortunate than we are, discipling those who come to Christ, and preaching the good new to all creation. Following this no option way of living for God will help me prioritize my life which will in turn, help me stay dedicated to Him.

These 3 things individually are good points, and put all together spell out the way we should be living for God. I'm grateful for my church, family and friends who have encouraged me and I hope to encourage them to do the same!

4:45 am

The Lord will protect you from all dangers; he will guard your life. The Lord will guard you as you come and go, both now and forever.
Psalm 121:7-8

This verse came in really handy tonight (or should I say early morning), when I awoke from a terrible dream which caused an even worse feeling. I don't know if it's from random tv shows or the reality that the world we live in is becoming more dangerous, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. And with me, once a thought like that pops into my head, I tend to expand and think of the possibilities of what could happen. All in all, not good.

My parents always said if I wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare or not being able to sleep, it's the perfect time to pray for those you care about or read the Bible. It's just amazing how good that advice is. Flipping through the Bible (or in this case, swiping my finger across the touch screen), it landed on Psalms 121 which gave me an instant "whew" feeling. I don't need to worry because God will protect me and guard my life... forever.

I guess in a way, it's a good thing I was woken up by the dreadful dream because it brought upon a greater peace.

Late night thinking= overwhelming peace

I know many people think late night thinking is a bad thing, but in my case tonight, it was an eye-opening and much needed wake-up call.

After being in the medical field for a little bit and watching people deal with life stress and even death, it finally caught up to me of what would happen to me if I died. Just the way I think, I think of those split second medical problems that could kill someone with them never knowing. Well here I am laying in bed at 1 AM, thinking what if something like that happened to me.

I've always believed in God and what He has done for me ever since I was little and always went to church, Wednesday night services and hung out in 'cell groups'. But I knew, even in high school, my faith wasn't as strong as most people thought. Once college came around, I could definitely feel myself backsliding with friends and just how I handled certain situations. Ever since then, I just felt like I've never really gotten back to that place. I guess I was drawn into the worldly 'hub-bub' of doing whatever I wanted and not really being accountable for what I was doing. And it's true what they say, I did kind of have that 'empty' feeling like something was missing. After I moved home after college, family and friends showed me how important it was to have that strong relationship with God and how things can just fall into place. Since that point, I have tried to get back into the Bible and quiet times and even joined 'lifegroups' which have been amazing in so many ways.

But tonight was kind of the thing that 'broke the camel's back'. I've never really given much thought of where I would end up. It was a feeling of confusion and fear I never want to feel again. As soon as I felt these feelings, I prayed for God to just forgive me for everything and it just woke up me to how important having a strong and meaningful relationship with Him can mean. It just made all these thoughts run through my head and knowing that He will help me through this time just gave me an overwhelming peace in an instant.

I know this is a very personal post, especially for those who do not know me at all. But what I'm trying to say is don't end up wondering where you'll end up, make an effort and know for sure. It's worth everything you put in to know where you'll spend eternity. It's something I just felt I should share.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

Dream job (s)

After starting my job as a nurse (which I love), I've never really thought about my 'dream' job. It never occurred to me after I started down my medical path, that I would ever think of doing anything else. Thanks to life group (which consists of a lot of amazing people), I started to really think about it. After spending hours and hours (ok, more like 10 minutes) thinking and contemplating of what I really wanted to do, I have come up with a couple options I would love to have done if there were endless supplies of money and resources.

#1- I have always loved animals. They spark a type of joy that reminds people of being little kids again. It helps when people are feeling down or sick. I use to bring my friend to the animal shelter to play with the cats/kittens when she was going through a period when she just needed a little pick-me-up. It just brings joy to my heart when I see a smile light up someone's face. For that reason, I thought owning a zoo would be awesome. It's definitely a place that is interesting and amazing to not only little kids, but people of all ages.

#2- Definitely something dealing with music. Everyone in my family has a nag for music in some way or form. I've always had that dream of making it big with the songs I've written and having my own music career. Being a worship leader or music pastor would be amazing! If that isn't a possibility, I've always found it interesting to create songs for musicals. I love love love musicals, so that would be a definitely amazing job to have!

#3 (which I am trying to put into action sometime in the future) - Travel the world with either my Dad or an organization dealing with medical missions. I've had an opportunity to experience a taste of what this could be like when I traveled down to Guatemala. It's another one of those amazing experiences that just brings joy to my heart when I'm able to help those who are in need. It makes me realize how blessed I am when I travel to those countries that are less fortunate and really puts into perspective how much they need not only medical attention, but spiritual attention.

Those are definitely the top 3 for now. I'm working on #3. It really was an amazing trip and definitely overwhelming. It's moments like that, for me at least, that make any job a dream job!

Freedom Anthem

I see the walls around me have fallen
I am free
I'll sing in your freedom
I'll dance in your freedom
I'll walk in your freedom
I'll breath in your freedom
I wanna' be who I was meant to be
So tell me again who I am, remind me who I am
I'm not a failure
I'm victorious
I'm not a disappointment
I'm a warrior
I'll scream in your freedom
Shout in your freedom
Run in your freedom
LIVE in your freedom
FREEDOM!


This song is amazing and was sung by the RMC band at my church. I went to the impact night where they sang this live, and it totally put me in a different place then where I was before. While singing the song, I had a smile just come across my face and tears start to build up because of how these simple words meant so much. No matter what I've done in the past, no matter how many walls I have put up from situations and people, God is able to break them down so I can live a life for him freely. The feeling of God was just overwhelming that night and I now understand how people can be overtaken by the feeling of joy and peace.

A Life Remembered

This was the title of my quiet time for today. It especially made a impact on my life because me and many other members of the community lost a friend to cancer this past week. Although his memorial service focused on the good times of his life, his family and friends will still feel the heartache and sadness of his passing. This particular quiet time focused on Psalms 139. Verse 16 is what really stood out to me.

Psalms 139:16: You saw me before I was born. Everyday of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Basically God knows what our days consist of and how many of them we have here on earth. When our time does come to meet God in heaven, it's important to remember that God is in control of the situation and He wants us to comfort those who are grieving.

Not only can this apply to those who do go meet the Lord in heaven, but to those who turn from God, or put him on hold.

Psalms 139:9-10: If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.

I personally went through a time when God wasn't the main focus of my life. I, unfortunately, joined the bandwagon of not going to church, partying and other such situations. I learned very quickly how important it is to make God the main focus in life and no matter what has been done or how far I turned, God was always there to bring me back.

One of my many summer goals is to become closer and grow in my relationship with God. I have joined life groups, which are awesome support groups to help me stay on track and it's nice to be in groups where there are those my age facing the same sort of problems and situations. I am very GRATEFUL to have found all these individuals in my life groups! I am also thankful to be given another chance to restart with a clean slate and make things right with God.